Thursday, May 14, 2009

COW THEORY-INDIAN PARTIES ™

AUDF- You have two cows .You make them wear lungi and topi and parade them to the state assembly. You say that the cows are wearing the regional dress of Assam and all cows should wear it.You bring a resolution that cows should speak only Hindi or Bengali in Assam.

AGP-You have two cows. You take one cow and open Progotisheel. You lose elections .You bring the cows come together again. You sell your cows to a businessman named Sudhansu Mittal.

BJP-You have two cows. You get Ramchadra Guha to write about the history of cows in the Hindutva Style. You take a cow yatra. PETA comes and accuses you. Bajrang Dal burns offices of PETA saying they encourage western thoughts.

BSP- You have two cows. You take a strike out saying they are dalit cows. You hold the country to ransom and when you lose elections you say “It IS SO UNFAIR a DALIT COW CANNOT BECOME a NATION's FIRST COW" 

Congress- You have two cows. Simple give them to Sonia Gandhi and wait for a ticket in the by-elections.

Samajwadi Party- You have two cows. Amar Singh takes them away both .Milks them and parties with homemade kheer .Invitees Bacchaan and Ambanis. Later he comes out and says how undernourished the cows are under Mayawati.

Left- You have two cows.You sell the cows buy big houses.Then you go and register complaint about missing cows and blame US nefarious designs.

JMM- You have two cows .You are willing to sell it to anyone who pays a higher price.

TDP-You have two cows. You take them both on a yatra with Chandrababu Naidu saying he will make the next hi-tech cowshed if voted to power.

Praja rajyam- You have two cows. Sell them at a high price and get a chance to get a ticket from PRP and also a free photo session with your idols.

DMK- You have two cows. You don’t know what to do. So you let them graze around. They reach Sri Lanka where Lankan Army shoots them because they are Tamil Cows. You try to raise a voice. Maj General Fosenka calls you a joker, you feign a heart attack.

MNS- You have two cows. Your rival has three .So you declare the rival cows to be North Indian Cows. You beat the cows, you go on strike burn tires and shops. In the end you catch the three cows and sell them off in the black market. When asked about it you declare it’s for the Maratha “cowship”.


UPA- You have two cows. You are searching for a third cow .You want three cows so you organize a press conference you call your rival herdsman a leader and ask for a cow in return of the public applause you have given them.

NDA- You have two cows. You are not sure what to do so you herd them to Ludhiana and then make a statement that the cows of the nation are together.



You can reproduce this fully with proper credit to the author.
Ibu Sanjeeb Garg

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